I wasn’t going to participate in NaNoWriMo this year. I had decided that I was too busy, that I didn’t have an idea that was big enough for a book, and I didn’t want to start just to fail again like I did last year. I don’t like stress. I have been feeling a little overwhelmed with trying to balance my life and my health. And I especially don’t like failing. I think I fail quite enough already without increasing the odds!
But then I had several friends who were participating. And some of them would ask me “Are you doing NaNoWriMo this year?” and I kept telling them, “No, I don’t have time.” And every time someone would ask me that question, and I would tell them that answer, this quiet little voice in my mind would ask me “Well, when are you going to have time?” And I would try to ignore it. Then they would ask again, “Are you going to participate in NaNoWriMo this year?” and I would say again, “No, I’m too busy.” And the voice would ask “When do you think your life will slow down enough you can do it then?” And I would think to myself, “Well, not December for sure because of all the Holiday things that come up, and not Jan-Mar because of Shakespeare, and April is the Script frenzy, and then the summer is always crazy, and then there is Fall with school starting up again…” and I realized the answer was, “Never?” That’s when I realized that if I was ever going to write a book, now was as good a time as any. So the next time someone asked me that question, the only answer I had left was, “Well, I don’t have an idea for a story that’s long enough to be a book.”
By this time, one of my friends had introduced me to the NaNoPDX facebook group and everyone in there was talking about their progress on their book. It was already 4 days into November and the 2011 NaNoWriMo challenge. Someone mentioned these “dares” as topic ideas that had been listed on the site. I never actually looked at the list of dares. As soon as someone mentioned it, I remembered a “topic dare” that had been posed as a challenge to me over the summer. And I remembered the story idea that I had for it. My last excuse for not participating in NaNoWriMo had been erased.
It is important to note here, that all semester in our homeschool I have been trying to encourage my children to use their unique gifts and talents for God. And I have been trying to teach them that they don’t have to wait until they are grown up to start using their gifts for God, they can start right now! And I’ve been telling them that they don’t have to be perfect for God to be able to use them, they just have to be willing, and God will take care of the rest. I’ve been trying to use my art skills and game design skills for God by making Christ-centered and family-friendly games. And while I’ve written over 300 pages of game design documents, and countless emails, blog posts, web articles, and quest dialogs for the game, I haven’t exactly been using my writing gift – creative story writing – much at all. And I knew it. Too many failures had made me gunshy. I was afraid to try again. But here were all these people encouraging me to try, encouraging me to do it, encouraging me to take the challenge of NaNoWriMo 2011. It seemed like God was telling me to do this. If I have learned nothing else in the last few years, I have learned I should not ignore God when He tells me to do something. Every time I have ignored the voice of God, I have regretted it later. And every time I have heeded His call, I have been overwhelmed with amazement at His work in my life through simple obedience. So if God really did want me to do this, I sure didn’t want to miss it! And besides, I really do need to set the example for my children by actually using my own gifts and talents for God, just like I’m telling them to do! Even if they aren’t perfect.
So, 4 days and nearly 8000 words behind schedule, I started out on this NaNoWriMo journey. You can see from my chart that in addition to a late start, I also had a slow start! By day 11 I was 15,000 words behind. I was officially a NaNoTurtle and garnered support from my fellow #NaNoTurtles on Twitter. I also was introduced to the #NaNoWordSprints on Twitter which turned out to be very entertaining and helped me get past some writer’s block moments a couple of times. There are now turtles in my story because of the #NaNoWordSprints and #NaNoTurtles on Twitter. That was fun to write! I finally caught up the second weekend with a 9100 word day followed by a 4600 word day. I experienced the strange phenomenon that many writers experience after an intense day of writing: I ran out of words. My responses on facebook went from my normal wordy commentary to smiley faces, or sad faces, and very few words at all. That was kind of surreal for me. And if you are one of my friends who wondered why I didn’t post much on my FaceBook during November… now you know why. I ran out of words. I used them all up in my book.
And on Thanksgiving day, I won! I hit 50,001 words the evening of Thanksgiving day. Yes, after making the Thanksgiving meal, but I didn’t cook it by myself, the whole family pitched in. And we had a wonderful meal together. We all sat around the table at the same time, the food turned out great, and we enjoyed each others company. I think it was the first time we did NOT spend Thanksgiving with friends or family that I really truly enjoyed our Thanksgiving day anyway. (Usually I feel sad if I don’t get to spend time with relatives or friends.) And after the meal, when everyone reclined with their games or TV shows, I went back to my book. And I won the challenge!! In just 20 days, I wrote 50,000 words. What an amazing feeling that was! It was a great day.
But my book isn’t done yet. By the end of November I hit 60,000 words, and it still wasn’t done yet. I think it is probably only about half way done right now. I have a lot more to write, and I want to write it well, I don’t want to just chop it off because November is over. And I do in fact have a lot of activities demanding my time for the month of December. So I’m not exactly sure how I’m going to fit in my writing into everything else I’m supposed to be doing. But I’ve come so far! I don’t want to quit now. For the first time in about 14 or 15 years, I am excited about writing again. I don’t know where this path is going to take me, but I’m looking forward to the journey. I think it’s going to be an exciting ride. Whatever happens, I know I’m doing my best to follow God, and use my gifts and talents for His glory and His purposes. I trust He will use them as He sees fit. And that’s what is the most important.
I had a great time today at the NaNoPDX TGIO party in Portland. It was awesome to meet the other writers from the NaNoPDX facebook group that have been supporting me, encouraging me, and motivating me to finish all month long. I am sure I would not have finished without that constant daily support and encouragement. And I am thankful that God placed them in my life. I hope I was able to encourage them as much as they encouraged me. It was an amazing experience!
Thank you NaNoWriMo organizers and everyone in the NaNoPDX group for rekindling my desire to be a writer. And for encouraging me to try again, so many years after I had convinced myself that it was not worth trying, that I was not good enough, and that I could not do it. I still haven’t finished writing my book yet, I probably have about another 50-60k left to go on it, but for the first time in a very long time I really believe that I can.
(And for anyone who is curious, there are 1,452 words in this blog post, according to wordpress.)
